Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime

Create a lasting and loving attachment with this national bestseller, a “must-read for every couple, at any stage of their relationship” (Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone) from the expert couple’s therapist behind the popular Instagram account @TheSecureRelationship.

What does a healthy relationship look like?

A good question, in theory, but couple’s therapist Julie Menanno wants you to consider: what does a securely attached relationship feel like?

The answer to this question is the ultimate goal in Secure Love, an “incredibly wise and helpful guide” (Jen Sincero, New York Times bestselling author of You Are a Badass) to understanding secure attachment in adult relationships. While attachment theory has grown in popularity to explain the relationship between children and their caregivers, it’s also the closest science has come to making sense of our adult romantic connections.

In this book Julie Menanno, the expert behind the popular Instagram account @TheSecureRelationship, tackles:
-Why you and your partner have the same fight over and over (hint: it’s called a negative cycle, and underlying every fight, argument, silent treatment, or passive-aggressive comment is an unmet attachment need).
-“Instead of that, say this” suggested scripts of how to approach difficult situations in your relationship more effectively.
-The four attachment types, with exercises to understand you and your partner’s attachment style.
-How to improve communication, including staying connected during conflict by prioritizing vulnerability rather than protecting yourself.
-Why insecure attachment negatively impacts a couple’s sex life and how to ignite that sexual connection.

Secure Love is a crash course in understanding how you show up in a relationship and guides you on getting out of negative cycles to find safety in one another. In doing so, “you’ll be armed with eternal wisdom for strengthening your relationship” (Dr. Sue Johnson, founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples and bestselling author of Hold Me Tight) and establish a secure attachment with your partner to create the bond you’ve been longing for.

Julie Menanno MA, LMFT, LCPC, is a licensed marriage and family therapist who provides insight and advice for couples at @TheSecureRelationship on Instagram, with over one million followers. She founded and runs the Bozeman Therapy & Counseling clinic, and The Secure Relationship Coaching. She lives in Bozeman, Montana, with her husband and six children.

ISBN: 9781668012864
Format: Hardback
Pages: 336
Publisher: Simon & Schuster
Published: January 30, 2024

"As a therapist, I've seen thousands of people desperately wanting better relationships but not knowing what that means or how to create them. In Secure Love, Julie Menanno offers a practical, easy-to-understand guide to how attachment theory underlies the challenging patterns we bring into adult relationships and what we can all do to create the secure, lasting love we desire. This is a must-read for every couple, at any stage of their relationship."
—Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk To Someone and co-host of the "Dear Therapists" podcast

“An incredibly wise and helpful guide to help all of us fabulously flawed humans give and receive the love we deserve. No romantic partnership should be without it.”
—Jen Sincero, #1 New York Times bestselling author of You Are a Badass

“With Secure Love, you’ll be armed with eternal wisdom for strengthening your relationship. Julie Menanno exquisitely explores the science behind attachment theory, how our earliest relationships impact our relationships today, and how to create a deeper bond together. A must-read for any couple or therapist.”
—Dr. Sue Johnson, founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples (EFT) and bestselling author of Hold Me Tight

"Compassionate, humane, and extremely helpful. Julie Menanno’s Secure Love is a must-read for anyone wanting to improve their relationships and gain a greater understanding of why they had trouble in the first place. Becoming a better partner is a lifelong journey, and Menanno’s book is a vital part of that path."
—Kati Morton, LMFT and bestselling author of Are u ok? & Traumatized

“An essential, empowering, and practical guide to navigating relationships. Filled with real-life examples from her work as a therapist, Julie Menanno teaches us how to connect with our partners to create a felt sense of safety, security, and comfort, even when challenging times inevitably emerge.”
—Jessica Baum, author of Anxiously Attached